Trash in my backpack
- Tags: active witnesses, restorative measures, soiling belongings, status teasing (cell phone), verbal humiliation
Setting
Late morning. The classroom smells of marker and lunchboxes, and the light slants in over the desks. As you sit down, you see words etched in your own marker. When you open your backpack, greasy papers fall out: it looks like someone put a trash can on your back.
Situation
It all started as “jokes”: nicknames, laughter when you made a mistake. But it escalated: trash in your backpack, insults written on the table with your own marker, teasing about your “cheap” cell phone and phrases like “look for coins on the floor”. In the hallway, shoving “by mistake.” No one intervened; you just wanted to belong to a group that laughed with everyone, not at one person. One day you couldn’t take it anymore and talked to the tutor. She listened to you from beginning to end, without judging you. The next day, there was a class talk, individual interviews and empathy activities. It wasn’t magic, but the air felt less heavy; some apologies came and, for the first time in a long time, you felt seen and respected.
Key dialogue
– “Your place is the wastebasket.”
– “My place is this table, and I deserve respect.”
– “Just kidding.”
– “If it makes me afraid to come, it’s no joke.”
Rewrite the story
I’m your partner and I’m stepping up today.
1. Now (10 s): I sit next to you and say clearly: “Leave your table and your backpack. No littering and no nicknames here”.
2. Immediate repair (2-3 min): we clear the table with you; I keep the marker and note time/place. If someone insists, I tell the tutor now.
3. Safe bridge: I go with you to record what happened (photos of desk before cleaning, list of incidents) and ask for no-contact and review of cameras/blind spots.
4. In the group: I cut the joke (“don’t forward, delete”) and add two allies to support it.
5. Class (this week): I propose visible rules: “My body, my table and my things are not a joke”; bank of support partners and common “cutting word”.
6. Follow-up (7 days): if it reappears, we raise with testimonies and ask for a restorative circle: listening impact, concrete apology, verifiable agreements.
Roles at the table: affected student, leader aggressor, follower, allied partner (narrator), tutor, other teachers, class group.